Strokes Head Into The Studio I Know What I Am, Do You Know What You Are?
Dead Weather Talk About New Album Best Time To Wear White Denim? Anytime
Neon Indian Remixes Grizzly Bear Ella Fitzgerald Rediscovered
Sunday, November 29, 2009
The Soundtrack For The Sane - Music News
Strokes Head Into The Studio I Know What I Am, Do You Know What You Are?
Dead Weather Talk About New Album Best Time To Wear White Denim? Anytime
Neon Indian Remixes Grizzly Bear Ella Fitzgerald Rediscovered
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Leggo My Eggo Or I'll Plunge My Keys Into Your Eye Socket!
A newspaper is reporting that Kellog's has announced that the popular breakfast waffle Eggo will be in short supply in early 2010 and won't be readily available until mid 2010. The reasoning behind the shortage, know one really knows, Kellog's is citing factory difficulties, as if that is a suitable answer. Other people, however, have begun exploring alternate realities to this catastrophic dilemma such as: CORPORATE GREED! PUBLICITY! GLOBAL WARMING! If only Vice President Al Gore had known that Global Warming would affect Americans intake of Eggo Waffles he may have not only captured the attention of the entire country, but been able to offer infallible evidence to the validity of Global Warming being an immediate threat to the survival of the human race and somehow prevented this calamity from occurring. Damn you SUV drivers, you have brought this pain upon us all. Now, it seems, it is to late. Soon, people will forget the flavor of syrup and only be satisfied by the insatiable taste for blood. The Mayans were incorrect in their prediction that the world will come to an end in 2012, but rather the final year of the race of man is 2010, and the spark that will ignite the powder keg that is the inevitable human demise will be the heart stopping noise of a toaster popping after 2 minutes and 10 seconds of heating nothing but old crumbs and air thick with murderous tension at the lack of a well balanced breakfast.
Coyote Ugly - chewing off your arm in hope of death
http://tvnz.co.nz/world-news/man-slept-beside-dead-wife-5-years-3196411
"I'm not like other people," a Vietnamese man is quoted as saying after digging up his wife's corpse and sleeping beside it for five years. No shit sherlock, what gave it away, the fact that you lovingly cuddled with a decomposing body every night for five years, or the fact that when the morning came around you didn't do the walk of shame out of the house and into the nearest hospital? At least he didn't tunnel into the ground and sleep next to her. Oh, wait, that was only because his children prevented him from doing so "After his wife died in 2003 he slept ontop of her grave, but about 20 months later he worried about the rain, wind and cold, so he decided to dig a tunnel into the grave 'to sleep with her.'" I wonder, do you still wake up stiff if the woman next to you is stiff as well?
Extreme Drunk Dialing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3Wj943tNlA
What are friends for? Companionship? Fillers of the mundane and monotonous? Shepherds of sanity? Stiflers of suicidal thoughts thanks to their companionship during the painfully dull moments in the daily lives of the average American? I say yes, but, perhaps the most vital element in a good friendship is the ability to give and receive advice. For example, the infallible reasoning that is forever immortalized on the t-shirts of douche bags who shop at Spencer's Gifts everywhere: "Friends don't let friends drink and dial." It's just not a good idea. If you disagree, next time you feel the urge to call your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend to share the epiphany that just bestowed itself upon you alongside the puddle of beer and spit that has magically collected itself down the front of your shirt, try drunk texting and read what you sent the next day. After being thoroughly confused and deservedly embarrassed thanks to the incoherent rant that is virtually indecipherable save for the words "loser," "superior," "peanut butter" and "genitals" imagine yourself standing on top of your beer box and audibly voicing your warped, drunken speech to that person, and then imagine whatever respect they may have still had for you flushing down the toilet along with the black, Jager colored vomit that you spewed as a result of reading that text. Now, if you are saying to yourself, "No prob. Bob, pour me a shot, hand me my car keys, and unplug my cell phone, I got some people I need to talk to" watch and listen to Mary's drunk dial after bar hopping and see if that changes your mind. If that doesn't do it, then, by all means, pick up that phone, punch those keys, and remember to enunciate those exclamatory obscenities.
What are friends for? Companionship? Fillers of the mundane and monotonous? Shepherds of sanity? Stiflers of suicidal thoughts thanks to their companionship during the painfully dull moments in the daily lives of the average American? I say yes, but, perhaps the most vital element in a good friendship is the ability to give and receive advice. For example, the infallible reasoning that is forever immortalized on the t-shirts of douche bags who shop at Spencer's Gifts everywhere: "Friends don't let friends drink and dial." It's just not a good idea. If you disagree, next time you feel the urge to call your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend to share the epiphany that just bestowed itself upon you alongside the puddle of beer and spit that has magically collected itself down the front of your shirt, try drunk texting and read what you sent the next day. After being thoroughly confused and deservedly embarrassed thanks to the incoherent rant that is virtually indecipherable save for the words "loser," "superior," "peanut butter" and "genitals" imagine yourself standing on top of your beer box and audibly voicing your warped, drunken speech to that person, and then imagine whatever respect they may have still had for you flushing down the toilet along with the black, Jager colored vomit that you spewed as a result of reading that text. Now, if you are saying to yourself, "No prob. Bob, pour me a shot, hand me my car keys, and unplug my cell phone, I got some people I need to talk to" watch and listen to Mary's drunk dial after bar hopping and see if that changes your mind. If that doesn't do it, then, by all means, pick up that phone, punch those keys, and remember to enunciate those exclamatory obscenities.
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