What are friends for? Companionship? Fillers of the mundane and monotonous? Shepherds of sanity? Stiflers of suicidal thoughts thanks to their companionship during the painfully dull moments in the daily lives of the average American? I say yes, but, perhaps the most vital element in a good friendship is the ability to give and receive advice. For example, the infallible reasoning that is forever immortalized on the t-shirts of douche bags who shop at Spencer's Gifts everywhere: "Friends don't let friends drink and dial." It's just not a good idea. If you disagree, next time you feel the urge to call your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend to share the epiphany that just bestowed itself upon you alongside the puddle of beer and spit that has magically collected itself down the front of your shirt, try drunk texting and read what you sent the next day. After being thoroughly confused and deservedly embarrassed thanks to the incoherent rant that is virtually indecipherable save for the words "loser," "superior," "peanut butter" and "genitals" imagine yourself standing on top of your beer box and audibly voicing your warped, drunken speech to that person, and then imagine whatever respect they may have still had for you flushing down the toilet along with the black, Jager colored vomit that you spewed as a result of reading that text. Now, if you are saying to yourself, "No prob. Bob, pour me a shot, hand me my car keys, and unplug my cell phone, I got some people I need to talk to" watch and listen to Mary's drunk dial after bar hopping and see if that changes your mind. If that doesn't do it, then, by all means, pick up that phone, punch those keys, and remember to enunciate those exclamatory obscenities.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Extreme Drunk Dialing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3Wj943tNlA
What are friends for? Companionship? Fillers of the mundane and monotonous? Shepherds of sanity? Stiflers of suicidal thoughts thanks to their companionship during the painfully dull moments in the daily lives of the average American? I say yes, but, perhaps the most vital element in a good friendship is the ability to give and receive advice. For example, the infallible reasoning that is forever immortalized on the t-shirts of douche bags who shop at Spencer's Gifts everywhere: "Friends don't let friends drink and dial." It's just not a good idea. If you disagree, next time you feel the urge to call your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend to share the epiphany that just bestowed itself upon you alongside the puddle of beer and spit that has magically collected itself down the front of your shirt, try drunk texting and read what you sent the next day. After being thoroughly confused and deservedly embarrassed thanks to the incoherent rant that is virtually indecipherable save for the words "loser," "superior," "peanut butter" and "genitals" imagine yourself standing on top of your beer box and audibly voicing your warped, drunken speech to that person, and then imagine whatever respect they may have still had for you flushing down the toilet along with the black, Jager colored vomit that you spewed as a result of reading that text. Now, if you are saying to yourself, "No prob. Bob, pour me a shot, hand me my car keys, and unplug my cell phone, I got some people I need to talk to" watch and listen to Mary's drunk dial after bar hopping and see if that changes your mind. If that doesn't do it, then, by all means, pick up that phone, punch those keys, and remember to enunciate those exclamatory obscenities.
What are friends for? Companionship? Fillers of the mundane and monotonous? Shepherds of sanity? Stiflers of suicidal thoughts thanks to their companionship during the painfully dull moments in the daily lives of the average American? I say yes, but, perhaps the most vital element in a good friendship is the ability to give and receive advice. For example, the infallible reasoning that is forever immortalized on the t-shirts of douche bags who shop at Spencer's Gifts everywhere: "Friends don't let friends drink and dial." It's just not a good idea. If you disagree, next time you feel the urge to call your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend to share the epiphany that just bestowed itself upon you alongside the puddle of beer and spit that has magically collected itself down the front of your shirt, try drunk texting and read what you sent the next day. After being thoroughly confused and deservedly embarrassed thanks to the incoherent rant that is virtually indecipherable save for the words "loser," "superior," "peanut butter" and "genitals" imagine yourself standing on top of your beer box and audibly voicing your warped, drunken speech to that person, and then imagine whatever respect they may have still had for you flushing down the toilet along with the black, Jager colored vomit that you spewed as a result of reading that text. Now, if you are saying to yourself, "No prob. Bob, pour me a shot, hand me my car keys, and unplug my cell phone, I got some people I need to talk to" watch and listen to Mary's drunk dial after bar hopping and see if that changes your mind. If that doesn't do it, then, by all means, pick up that phone, punch those keys, and remember to enunciate those exclamatory obscenities.
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